i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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