Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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