I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
