PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
