We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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