I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
