also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
