Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we made out on top of his cat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
