dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
