no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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