Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
