"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
