btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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