Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
