Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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