According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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