i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
