We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize