I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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