Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
