dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
