I smell stomach acid.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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