you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
