apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
