Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
