well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
