We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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