Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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