Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
