a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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