i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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