there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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