remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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