it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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