RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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