I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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