Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
