I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
