Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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