just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
