yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
