...so i touched it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
