Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
