haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
