I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
