My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
