We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
