dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
