Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Bring me that man meat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
