the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
