I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
