I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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