At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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