i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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