that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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