your thong is hanging out like whoa
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dicks are not precious.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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