I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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