i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You can't special order awesome
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
