Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
