I wannas sexs uuuuu
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
