You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize