I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
