I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
